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How To Deal With Different Emotions?


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#1 Kyidzom

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Posted 14 December 2008 - 09:58 AM

We all want to be happy, and despite all wordly problems we can be, i believe.

But sometimes comes sadness.

How to deal with sadness?


All the best,

Kyidzom

#2 Michael John Smith

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Posted 15 December 2008 - 02:58 PM

We all feel sad sometimes. It is our karma to have these emotions time and time again. My own way of dealing with such emotions is to watch out for them as they appear and then do something positive with them. When I feel sadness I try to immediately think of other people suffering far worse than myself and ask myself why am I feeling sad. Could it have something to do with my own selfish ego? Better then to count my blessings, see how I am suffering far less than these other misfortunate people and animals. Better to think of some way I can help those less fortunate than myself. If only I could take some part of their suffering on myself and give them some of my good fortune in return. Perhaps it really is just my own ego preventing me.

So my advice is not to feel to bad about feeling sad - just to think about using it to improve your practice and how to help those who are sad and don’t know what to do. We can only feel happy (the opposite of sad) when we know we are doing all we can to take away other people’s sadness and help them find happiness.

#3 tibi

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Posted 15 December 2008 - 06:39 PM

Here is a quote which helps me to get through difficult situations (unfortunatelly I'm not sure where is it from):

''Do not be glad when happy, rejoice when sad:
Happiness uses up accumulated merit,
Unhappiness purifies sin and obscurations'' ;)

#4 Michael John Smith

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Posted 15 December 2008 - 07:42 PM

Here is a quote which helps me to get through difficult situations (unfortunatelly I'm not sure where is it from):

''Do not be glad when happy, rejoice when sad:
Happiness uses up accumulated merit,
Unhappiness purifies sin and obscurations'' ;)


Bit too deep for me I'm afraid Tibi. Can you help me understand how this quote helps you get through difficult situations?

#5 tibi

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Posted 15 December 2008 - 08:50 PM

Bit too deep for me I'm afraid Tibi. Can you help me understand how this quote helps you get through difficult situations?

I would say it all comes down to accepting the universal cause of law and effect (or at least try-at which stage i am still). The negative karmic imprints must ripen sooner or later, and if we know that karma expands greatly through passing time, the sooner is much better. In a way it helps me to accept suffering more as a sign of effective purification practices, rather then some kind of bad luck.

The next thing this quote brings to my mind is one of the pairs from eight wordly dharmas: attachment to sensual pleasures and aversion to unpleasant things, which in turn helps to, in a way, expand the mind and therefor maintain the stability on ones Path.

But this are of course my own humble experiences, and would appreciate if somebody with more insight (especially from the psychology point of view) would shed some light on the matter, too.

(By the way, the quote is from the Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand)

#6 Kyidzom

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Posted 16 December 2008 - 04:38 PM

Thanks for replays.


;) Michael, I thing like You, very similar.

:bow: Tibi, If I understand proper, sadness remainds us, what Samsara is, and give us motivation for progress on the Path.
When sedness apears, than we have chance to work on our karma?

All verx best,

Kyidzom

#7 tibi

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Posted 18 December 2008 - 11:07 PM

If I understand proper, sadness remainds us, what Samsara is, and give us motivation for progress on the Path.
When sedness apears, than we have chance to work on our karma?

I think we should look at sadness as a result of previously accumulated karma and be ''glad'' that it resulted in such a way rather than for example as suffering of an hell being. But we should not wait for sadness to give us the chance to work on our karma; we've been wandering in samsara from beginingless times and accumulated loads of negative karma which needs to be purified and therefor have to work on it all the time, especially when things are going well and when it is much easier to do so. :)

#8 Kyidzom

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Posted 19 December 2008 - 11:52 AM

I think we should look at sadness as a result of previously accumulated karma and be ''glad'' that it resulted in such a way rather than for example as suffering of an hell being. But we should not wait for sadness to give us the chance to work on our karma; we've been wandering in samsara from beginingless times and accumulated loads of negative karma which needs to be purified and therefor have to work on it all the time, especially when things are going well and when it is much easier to do so. :)


:bow: Thanks
From my experiences the hard times are the best motivation to awake. It is easy to become to moralistical and theoretical in good life period.
:) I am happy for all the people that are working on spiritual development whan they are in good life period.


All the very best,

Kyidzom

#9 Kyidzom

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Posted 27 August 2009 - 08:52 AM

Hi,

i am back again.

Now i have problem with another feeling.

With anger.

I dont know have to be kind and compassionate, and in the same time not to be naive and not let others harm me?

If You have some advise, i will be very grateful.


All the very best,

Kyidzom

#10 Michael John Smith

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Posted 27 August 2009 - 09:45 AM

Hi,

i am back again.

Now i have problem with another feeling.

With anger.

I dont know have to be kind and compassionate, and in the same time not to be naive and not let others harm me?

If You have some advise, i will be very grateful.


All the very best,

Kyidzom


Have you tried looking to see where the anger is coming from to start with?
Ask yourself do I wish to do harm to the object of my anger and if so, why?
Ask yourself is it the misjustice I see - why does it have to be this way. Can it really be any different?
Is there any real reason for my anger or is it just a karmic trace appearing as if from nowhere?
Should I have any feelings towards the anger as it arises - should it be welcomed, thought about, rejected, hated, attached to or what will be the least harmful?

#11 Kyidzom

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Posted 28 August 2009 - 12:00 PM

Have you tried looking to see where the anger is coming from to start with?
Ask yourself do I wish to do harm to the object of my anger and if so, why?
Ask yourself is it the misjustice I see - why does it have to be this way. Can it really be any different?
Is there any real reason for my anger or is it just a karmic trace appearing as if from nowhere?
Should I have any feelings towards the anger as it arises - should it be welcomed, thought about, rejected, hated, attached to or what will be the least harmful?



:bow: Thanks for Your opinion.
I think i simpli dont see the real pictur.
Sameone who is near to me and i want very much to be in good relation with, simple i dont feel i could trust. And often forgot how hurt the relation with this person is and i trust agan and i am hurt agan.
I know that if i have enough consciusness and understanding i would know what to do.
Now i only strive to understand my emocions and deel with them, not to harm others.
Intelektual part of me knows that everything is not so real and serious as it looks, but my emocions dont understand yet. I hope i'm only in the process.


Everything good,

Kyidzom

#12 Michael John Smith

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Posted 31 August 2009 - 07:41 AM

As I understand it, in Buddhism we always look to the other's welfare before our own whilst working on improving ourselves before others.

This means you have to be clear in your motivation in any relationship - is it good for the other person - is what I am seeking to do good for the other person? And then what am I seeking to do? Remember I must work on improving myself, not the other person.

In questions of relationship it is the love that goes in not the need for something out of the relationship that is important. Of course this does not mean deliberately getting hurt yourself - this is also harm being done.

So we must look clearly at the situation - this person is worthy of my love and compassion - now what is the best way to give this to him without harming him or me? Remember what does he need? NOT what do I need? And what am I willing to put up with for the good og this relationship? BUT also IS this relationship really good for the other person in the first place?

#13 Kyidzom

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Posted 31 August 2009 - 12:51 PM

As I understand it, in Buddhism we always look to the other's welfare before our own whilst working on improving ourselves before others.

This means you have to be clear in your motivation in any relationship - is it good for the other person - is what I am seeking to do good for the other person? And then what am I seeking to do? Remember I must work on improving myself, not the other person.

In questions of relationship it is the love that goes in not the need for something out of the relationship that is important. Of course this does not mean deliberately getting hurt yourself - this is also harm being done.

So we must look clearly at the situation - this person is worthy of my love and compassion - now what is the best way to give this to him without harming him or me? Remember what does he need? NOT what do I need? And what am I willing to put up with for the good og this relationship? BUT also IS this relationship really good for the other person in the first place?


Thanks




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