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How To Feel Emotions?


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#1 Nina I.

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Posted 28 June 2011 - 09:47 PM

Hello everybody,

I have just recently realized I do not know how to feel the negative feelings/emotions. All my life I have coped by suppressing the unpleasant emotions, which has led me to compulsive eating. Now when I sense the anxiety building up I do not know what to do or how to release this feeling, my first instinct is still to numb the feeling with food. So, my question to you is how to deal with this feelings in non destructive ways? And how to actually do it.

Thank you very much for all of your suggestions and comments.

#2 Michael John Smith

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Posted 29 June 2011 - 05:39 AM

The Buddha advises we adopt the following methods of working with emotions:

Reflection on impermanence and the unpleasant aspect of a person or thing counteracts attachment.
Cultivating patience and love opposes anger.
Cultivating wisdom demolishes ignorance.
Reflecting that all we know and have comes from others eliminates pride.
Rejoicing prevents jealousy.
Following the breath diminishes doubt.
Contemplating our precious human life dispels depression.
Meditating on compassion counteracts low self-esteem.

We should neither suppress an emotion or follow through on it but attend to it by recognizing it as it arises in our mind
and applying the appropriate antidote but know that whatever happens the emotion will not last long in our minds if we do not grasp it and give it too much importance.

#3 Michael John Smith

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Posted 01 July 2011 - 06:38 AM

You might find this video useful:



#4 Kyidzom

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Posted 01 July 2011 - 09:27 AM

Dear Nina,

it is my story too. I stop to eat sweets, this help me balance. In my experience is all aboute fear, very deep fear i wont to suppress. You have to be strong and patience with yorself because this can take some time to transform. Try to stop eat food that make you eat more. When this intensive emotions are present i try to face it,recognize tham, for what they are, leavings of past and try to function normally. Sometimes is hard to funkcion normally, but i work slower and intensiti of emotions are going down. For me is Vajrasattva mantra the more efficient, but yo will have to find your own way. Rinpoche help me very much, so talk to him.


Sedaj pa še v slovenščini, ker sva z angleščino še v postopnem približevanju. Tudi jaz imam podoben problem kot ti. Meni k ravnovesju pomaga, da ne jem sladkarij. V osnovi moje zlorabe hrane je globok strah, nesigurnost. Morala boš biti močna in potrpežljiva, saj lahko proces transformacije tovrstne navade traja nekoliko dlje. Predlagam, da se odpoveš tisti hrani, ki najbolj spodbuja lahkoto in željo po hrani, pri meni so to sladkarije.( podobno kot se mora alkoholik odpovedati alkoholu) Ko se pojavijo ta intenzivna čustva pri meni se jih trudim sprejeti ( ne razumem vedno od kod prihajajo) najpomambneje je da jih vidim kot to kar so, ostanki preteklosti ( torej nič kaj resničnega in vsekakor niso jaz) in poskušam kljub tem čustvom delovati normalno. Včasih je to naporno, vendar takrat je pametno delati svoje odgovornosti bolj pačasi in postopoma čustvo izgublja svojo intenzivnost. Meni pri tem najbolj pomaga dolga mantra Vajrasattva, toda ti najdi svoj način, ker so te stvari zelo individualne. Vsak se mora sam naučiti obračat energijo ( kot so me naučili pred kratkim). Rinpoče mi je pri tem močno pomagal in mi še pomaga, zato ti predlagam, da se s tem obrneš nanj.


Vse dobro,

Mihaela




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