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About Alan

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  1. Thanks for lenghty answer. I'll think about.
  2. I can't really understand how becoming lay can help Dharma in any way? Something I don't get?
  3. Hi, Too bad. Centuries pass, and people do not learn from History. Tibetans have lost their country and their tradition is endangered because of politics, because of short-sighted views, and because of lack of respect of Buddha-Dharma, mixing personal intrigues with religious matters... And this since, long. We shall remember that not just once the reincarnation of the Dalaï-Lamas were murdered! Murdered for selfish and political reasons. And what is happening nowadays ? The same... This time using some influence gained with contacts in the West. The big looser? Buddha-Dharma. But who care? Surely not the Tibetans engaged into politics, who look at their own benefits, and eventually to the benefits of their relatives, and even sometime to their nation. But not to their spiritual heritage. Sad. Bye, Alan
  4. Hi, I think this is a document that deserves to be seen: Palestine under illegal millitary occupation I can't say "enjoy" but we must be aware. Bye, Alan
  5. I'd sugest you open an other topic. Some "poor little sick cat" of this topic seems to lack the basic respect of opinion (though the last post containing what I refer to seems to have evaporate).I do not like to argue for the sake of arguing, but when it can engage a genuine reflection. Otherwise, I simply keep my opinions for me, and apply then when I think they can help. Bye, Alan
  6. Touché!This reflects the most often cases: women react quickly, impulsively, and in disorder; men can swallow their reaction, think, and react with premeditation. This “emotional over-reaction†might be actually what causes the chronic fatigue of teenagers! And that is why mothers are more likely to create or maintain this syndrome. Note that I don't say one or an other is right or wrong, react good or not. It is often like this. Bye, Alan
  7. How can you judge anyone as you are doing? Do you know my life? Do you know how I act with my children? And yet, you wouldn't let your sister with me! As about responsibility, I laugh. How old are you? What have you achieved so far about responsibility? Are you responsible of yourself first? Out of my understanding of karma, I do not seek any scapegoat nor fault outside. I analyse what I observe in the society, among all people I receive for therapy as well. Everything has a cause. Causes give effects. You are not who you are without having created causes. Right? The actions of one person still interact with the others. The way your parents did act, mixed with the way you perceived them, had an impact, which took part in your upbringing. Your reaction proves actually my point, and I would probably be reluctant to put my children under your care, fearing you would project all kind of untrue emotional things and share/impose too strongly your opinions with them. But I guess you are young, no child yourself, and do no work with children much. So, much is just your emotions... as I can see also from the emoticons you used, and where, to push forward these emotions to the others, as when playing à¢-Ëœpoor little sick cat'. After having observed hundreds, thousands, children and parents, with the wish to understand what can bring them resolution of the conflicts, seeking nothing else but soothing their suffering -now and hopefully in the future too- I of course drew out some lines, some generalities. Surely, these generalities do not apply to everyone, and do change with the time and places. We have to be supple enough to take each individuality in consideration. Much is also based on what we define as a “good parentâ€, of course. There is no school of parents. And I'm glad of it, because who would teach there? Who would have the right to say how it is the best to act? Psychologist? I'm well places to say they might be the worst. Simply because the best way to help others comes with wisdom, and that is not taught by any school (except Buddhist ones, surely). Anyhow, goodness is not by accepting all froma child, letting him/her eat what ever he wants, going to bed anytime, not setting clear and firm rules, etc... It might be seen as good for an emotionally immature person/child, but such attitude ain't good for the development of a child. Most of my understanding is in fact very much shared by many mothers, lucid enough to observe the games of power and manipulation of so many parents, entangled in their own emotional disturbances, many times unable to act for the true benefit of their children. So many parents -fathers and mothers- want to come out of such play-role. And this can be done with analysing, pondering, meditating, controling better our mind. It is far time to recognize children as a full persons, and to give them the rights and respect as regarding their individual development. This is possible only when we step away from our own emotions and give enough care for the others. I'm sorry for what you might have gone through. I have a good mother and a good father. Nothing to blame them for. You are not for the moment, because you are too caught in your own emotional illusion. It seems. I was very good a “poor little sick catâ€. When I was trying to make the little sick cat laugh, because I had obverved the others well enough to know their obvious weakness I could act on; when I was the cat, because I wasn't caught in the manipulation of the others. And still not. I observe, and try to look beyond the illusion the people have often of themselves. Bye, Alan
  8. This is part of my point: who makes the men? Do you see many men in kinder-garden? Not that some men wouldn't like, but they are discredited by women!! How many times we can hear gossip from women against men taking care of small children, that they must be gay or pedophile! The society does not recognise their role in children education. Children are raised by women who try to shape the children without consistency in their pedagogical views ie. they would like the children to be sensitive and affectionous, and at same time they say to boy they shouldn't cry and such. The little boys get confused. They would like to identify themselves to their gender, but there is no men around them, since women consider it is their role to raise children. Vicious circle. Add to this the effect of the pesticides which disturb the hormonal system, more specifically of the boys (because pesticid are often "oestrogen-like", and disturb heavily the maturation of the brain at the moment it differenciate between boys and girls). And you have "feminin, boyish" men, without hair on their chin or chest, without strong inner will and power of action. Bye, Alan
  9. This article doesn't sound to me as advocating the right of women for free time, but the negative impact they can have when they are on the back of their children, specially teenagers. Curious how the perception is different from a man or woman perspective, hum? Well, I would say that if most mothers would aknowledge that fathers can also take good care of the children, surely they would be may be more active! But day after day, women are criticising mens/fathers and give them the feeling they can't take care correctly of the children. Secondly, the way so many mothers do educate their boys is close to "psychological castration", and doesn't really give to boys the wish or the feeling they will be able to can take care of the children later. Though such study might show also that men undertake better the stress, and do not spread it at home to their children May be because they had already to deal with the stress of their mother when they were a child Women are angry at "macho" men, but they are making them as such thelmselves. How many times did I hear mothers saying to little boys: "you should not cry, you are a man"! Do they consider the possible impact of their words? Of course, not. It's easier to be angry and play the role of poor little victim than to share the role they have the feeling is "theirs"! Of course, things are changing, slowly, and young parents are sharing more the task of upbringing and educating the children. Which is very nice, an dgive more chance for psychological stability of the children, adults of tomorrow's World. Bye, Alan
  10. I found this article quite interesting "The syndrome of chronic tiredness would have a family dimension resulting from a certain phenomenon of imitation between the parents and the children. it is what data obtained at 80 teenagers suggest of which the half complained about chronic tiredness. The relative risk of tiredness in the young person is three to five times more important in the event of stress or of tiredness in the mother. It is enough that the mother goes away one hour of more than house so that the clinical demonstrations of this syndrome of chronic tiredness decrease by 60% at the teenager! Curiously, the father does not seem to play any part in the expression of the psychological disorders. " Sources: Pediatics - June 2006 Bye, Alan
  11. I understand Dharmaling is a non-politic organisation, but what do you think of the situation between Israel and Lebanon? Specially when we read: "Speaking on Israeli army radio, Mr Ramon - a close confidant of Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert - said "everyone understands that a victory for Hezbollah is a victory for world terror". He said that in order to prevent casualties among Israeli soldiers battling Hezbollah militants in southern Lebanon, villages should be flattened by the Israeli air force before ground troops moved in. He added that Israel had given the civilians of southern Lebanon ample time to quit the area and therefore anyone still remaining there could be considered a Hezbollah supporter. "All those now in south Lebanon are terrorists who are related in some way to Hezbollah," Mr Ramon said. " This assimilate all civilians who did not rtan away from their home as terrorist! And Israel says that staying is being ready to die!! Bye, Alan
  12. Hi, I didn't know where it's better to post, in this forum or on "health, environment,...". But, here I go: Do you think that smoking creates negative karma? Any opinion on this? Alan
  13. Hi Tss tss tss... I send a request through the Shambala web site the 25th or 26th of February, and got an asnwer from them the 27th... The topic on this web site was launched the 27th... Ok, I read more about Chogyam Trungpa, as I might have conclude too quick, not knowing much about it. I still do not agree on the behaviour he did displayed during his life, and I still find the teachings of the actual Shambala school quite strange in regard to what Buddhist Traditions are, but I can imagine that it can be of some benefit to some people. We are in such degenerated time, that people cannot enter the clear ethic of the Shakyamuni Buddha's teachings. Some strange way have to be created. Kind of skillfull means I guess, to fish people wherever they are... Alan
  14. Hi, Under the excuse of parody or joke, we cannot say everything. Too easy. This means you take the right to judge the others, saying who are the "over-zeleous self-righteous" people "imposing" their views... Isn't it an agressive way to impose your own views? 8O Of course... A "general concept" writen in comment to a specific article... yes, yes... You base this remark on the assumption that we didn't read carefully the "material" (more a blog type) on your web site. But we did. And I remain disgusted by your views about how positive is the situation brought through Chinese toward Tibet! You seems to have no real idea of the suffering all the Tibetans went through (torture, genocide, cultural destroying, etc...), and the future implication if one accept the idea that Tibet is now "lost", and definitely part of China! I read you are president of the Tibet Support Group in your country. How can you say/write what you did??Tschuess, Alan
  15. Hi, Isn't it on your personnal web site? If you let it, you might agree with, no? Alan
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