mavrica

Thank You, dear Lama Shenphen. I will take this into consideration and practice. l-)

this reminds me of when we were talking about Dorje Sempa on the seminar. is this the same situation? I also do the Vajrasattva practice every evening, but I wonder - am I even allowed to do that since I have not taken refuge yet nor the Vajrasattva initiation?? do I create negative karma because of that?? :? to Jure: I don't know if I am doing this correct and if it is of help to you, but my way of the purification practise of negative actions refers only to the day that has passed, not to negative actions in general. I have to admit it always makes me sad to see that I am doing some things over and over again ... :cry: ... as if I didn't learn anything from them ... so then I see it turns out that these negative actions are quite similar, so to say, "general" ... :roll:

Tashi delek, thank you very much for all your answers. your help was very precious to me. :*

what is the usual period of time (if it is "measured" in this way) before a sentient being incarnates again in another life? can he choose the circumstances of another life, people around him (as it is said that "we have chosen our parents") and the tasks he will undergo? is this "freedom of choice" reserved only for spiritually highly evolved beings or is it something that everybody has to do and is able to do?

is this like a "projection" of the image of your relatives and loved ones or is it their true presence? (00) and is it possible for the deceased one to communicate with beings in other bardos (so to say, their loved ones, who are still in this life) by any way - for example, through dreams or by producing smells and voices? can they move physical things? :maybe: thank you very much both, Ani.Chodron and Ani.Chonyi, your answers are of a big help to me!! :hello:

tashi delek. I read a book The wheel of life by the author Elisabeth Kubler Ross. it is her autobiography, where she also explains her studies of the dying people and the NDE's (near death experience). in those situations the dying people (who survived) met their dead relatives, friends and their spiritual guide, they travelled to the white light, but ... came back as they were in a way told that "their time has not come yet". does buddhism say anything about this phenomenon - meeting your loved ones and yet returning to this life? :< the more I think about this ... well ... I feel like the souls of the ones who are not religious (of any kind), are abandoned and left alone to deal with the passage. should it not be the same for a person, whether religious or not? I understand that accumulating merit as a loving and religious person has a positive effect on somebody. what about those, whose path did not end like this? who died very suddenly, being confused, angry, unfulfilled and were never religious? does that mean, as their minds were "blurred" and unprepared in the time of death, that they will cope with "afterlife" with bigger difficulty?? (please excuse my vocabulary, I don't know how else to explain this as merely an "afterlife" )

dear ani chodron, thank you very much for answering my question I can see the importance of leaning on the Lama, but ... what about people who are not buddhist? is it possible to help them after they have died - how does praying for them help? what effect does the prayer have on the spirit of the deceased? and further, if the deceased wasn't buddhist, can he/she realise that there are Buddhas and Bodhisattvas helping him pass through?? or do they have the feeling that they are all alone? is anything about their perception of this sort known?

Tashi delek. are there any beings (or entities) who help the spirit of the deceased to go through the bardos and enter another world or life? "esotherically" speaking, those would be "guardian angels" or something like that. or is it so that after death you are simply on your own and nobody helps you? :? where could I read more about this? thank you for your answers.

perhaps this has nothing to do with it, but anyway ... I had a very disturbing dream a couple of years ago. I lived in a world, obsessed with video-games, everybody was playing them, kids did nothing else, nobody did anything else, it was like this was the way of life. nobody cared for the environment anymore, for old people who were dying in their beds alone ... it was horrible. then there were few of us who believed something has to be very wrong with the world and this computer addiction ... and my friends kept missing, one by one. I suspected it had something to do with computers so I decided to enter one of the video-games. but the trick was - once you had entered the virtual space, the energy was being "sucked" from your body and your mind "on earth", even though you could not notice that in the virtual world. when all the life-energy was "sucked in", you simply dropped down and died in both worlds. (reminds me a bit of the movie Matrix, but I had this dream some years before I saw the movie) another danger was proposed from the side of people who were playing the video-games and did the virtual killings. from the point of view of the virtual world, the killings were very real. virtual beings were dying due to the shots. and among them were those people who decided (from whichever reason) to enter the virtual world. so there was death all over (which was, of course, not visible from the "outer world"). so I had to be very careful avoiding all the dangers and I knew I had very little time. my friends from "earth-world" were hurrying me out and then at the last moment I saw my friend, the one I came for, she was lying in a corner and bleeding, almost lifeless. I quickly picked her up and "transported" her back to earth. then I did the same for myself as the last seconds of my life were ticking. almost a science fiction movie I had. I woke up with mixed feelings about this and the virtual world. could it be that those hungry ghosts, captured inside the virtual reality world, could look like that?

dear lacu, take notes

This one. I would probably do it like this. if it were my own child, I would thoroughly discuss things with my partner so that he would see the other side of the story too. (fortunately my partner also agrees that eating or not eating meat is the thing of one's own decision so I don't expect any complications from his side). if this was one of my friends ... I would certainly discuss the question with her if she would ask for my opinion. if not, I would probably not interfere but would occasionally tell her my opinion anyway If I felt she doesn't want to listen, I would not force it. this child's path leads through this very experience too. I assume that he would be born into a family which would be completely vegetarian, if he had built the right karma for that, right? he obviously did not so he has to make his own way of standing up for himself. but you can certainly be of help if asked that!

well, this is something as I was talking about. it is very easy to slip into accusations in the name of promoting "the only valid" path to liberation. of course I meant nothing bad with mentioning Sai Baba (I could just as well speak of someone else), I merely expressed my own understanding of the situation after I met and read about people (both the one that still follow him and the ones who had bad experience). I agree that his philosophy helps many people. but truth has many faces and I also cannot be sure that he did not harm some of his followers. I personally don't believe that everybody who spoke out about his bad experience is just a liar and pretender. after all, even saints and teachers are still just human beings and it can happen to anyone that he loses control over his behaviour and does something that he himself has been preaching against. I may be wrong, but this is my personal opinion. we all agree that a person should very carefully examine his (future) teacher to see that he acts as he teaches etc etc. if one only reads the books that "the teacher" wrote and they are full of love and deep ethics, does that instantly and without consideration mean the teacher is qualified and honest? should that person not listen to the other side too? I believe this to be some kind of a precaution to letting yourself be blinded by the fraud or charlatan. questioning teachers is a completely acceptable thing - to the point when you find the one that sincerely "meets the criteria" you have been searching for. then the unconditional following begins. please correct me if I got this wrong. as we people are different, we walk different paths. in the end, I believe, we all get to the same point (the point which various religions name differently). but still, some spiritual ways are more appreciated than others - so there comes to diferentiation between "main" religions and sects. I guess we cannot help ourselves, due to our limited knowledge and lack of true compassion, to judge - that is, to see the world mostly through our favorite religion's glasses. which is to some point quite normal. if I were talking about this in the christian forum, I would probably use different terminology and we could still be discussing the same thing. I feel that buddhism (more than any other religion that I know) has a wonderful way of tolerance toward different beliefs and religions and this is one of the reasons why I chose it.

I will ask him tomorrow though I doubt that knowing his name would be of any good. there are countless people claiming to be "masters" of various spiritual paths ... and there will always be, I guess. my point is more in awareness to recognizing such "teachers" who usually have strong influence on people and can therefore indeed propose a danger. it is an old news that the world is full of charlatans and false prophets. for example, I've heard countless negative stories about Sai Baba and have seen the documentary on his frauds, but all such revelations don't seem to stop people from joining him. you can find Sai Baba meditation groups and study circles all over Slovenija and the world. and the other part of the story is that he built many schools and hospitals for poor people. what is happening in there, is another story, but this is not the place to discuss that. public generally sees the good deeds he made. so, could you mark this as either good or bad?

I am sorry but I forgot it. :roll: he has a very ... forgettable name. starts with a letter "S", I think. didn't help you much, huh? he is some guy from India and leads his retreats in Italy (and probably other countries too). his philosophy also involves some kind of theories of "rays" that saints are born on (like "the ray of helper", "the ray of the liberator" - this is where this master claims to come from etc.) ... they are putting Jesus, Buddha, Sai Baba etc in the same pot. and his followers have already started their meditation groups all over our country. that scares me actually. but since I haven't heard the whole story about this masters way, I cannot judge. perhaps his intentions do have some positive effects.

Tashi delek everybody and thank you for your opinions and thoughts. I admit that my friend's path does not seem a good idea to me either. and as you said, not doing anything is a really impossible state of being. and I feel that this guy actually is afraid to do anything wrong which would upset his master. but the truth is that we are not so close that he would care for my advice but rather take it as yet another action of intolerance toward him. as far as I know he doesn't want to attain liberation for any other being but himself. but I guess I am not to judge people. I am not without mistakes myself. and I don't feel to be so wise and don't know so much about buddhism that I could lead a proper conversation with him, concerning buddhist way. perhaps this is one of the experiences he has to go through himself ... I honestly don't know. all I know is that he is very strongly convinced that he is doing the right thing and I know that generally he is a good person not wanting to harm other people. I was never really good at persuading other people that what they are doing could harm them ... I don't know why. I somehow always believed that I could make things even worse for them if I got involved into their way of acting or believing. perhaps this is an old leftover from one of my pastlives, who knows. :? and I always tend to believe that "everything will be okay in the end" and that "the karmatic equilibrium" will take its place when appropriate. perhaps I am also simply performing one way of non-acting (by which I may do harm rather than help) ... :cry:

I don't quite understand your question - do you mean "how to advise the child that being a vegetarian is good for him" or "how to persuade the concerned parent that it is okay if their child does not eat meat"? I see this as two different questions and don't clearly know which one to address.

Tashi delek everybody, yesterday I was talking to a friend who just stepped on his chosen spiritual path. he tried many ways by now and has never found "the right one" for himself. but this one seems to be what he was looking for. i am happy for him, but still there were so many questions arising inside me after he told me his experience. he says this certain spiritual path he is following (never heard of it before) is very strict and demands lots of discipline from him. he has to be vegetarian, meditate minimum 3 hours per day and follow his master unconditionally. he has to be careful not to do any bad or even good deeds, because they would both tie him onto the samsaric circle of existence. on one of the retreats his master gave him some sort of iniciation through which all of his karma from countless times has been erased and now he is "pure". but he has to be very aware of not doing ANYTHING because that would mean he has to be reborn again. that I don't really understand. is it not so that by doing good deeds one cleanses his bad karma and it does good for him? my friend says that it is so because we are then "in debt" to each other and even when you do a good deed for someone this means you would definitely have to be reborn so that the other person can "pay you back". and I also don't understand how such erasing of all karma is possible. can it make damage to a person? i somehow compare it to those "prostrations under proper conditions and guidance", but even there a person has to make its own effort, he has to be at least physically (and mentally) active! by this type of iniciation that friend was talking about, a person doesn't have to do anything. everything is done by the master in his name and his benefit but without any effort. 8O :? :?: can that be so? my friend believes that following this master will lead him directly out of samsaric circle. can somebody tell me more about this?? I am really curious. :?

dear Pamo, I have been vegetarian for over 6 years now (though I still include fish, eggs and milk products in my diet) and I've never had any problems with anaemia or any other lack of anything essential in my blood. I regularly take tests (once a year), I go to the doctor and tell him I would like to make regular testing and inform him that I am a vegetarian. I believe the doctor should take concern in that and will know which tests to make to see your blood is okay. I have to admit though, that I have not been too careful with making "appropriate food combinations" since I stopped eating meat (except fish - still have to work on that :oops: ), as many people suggest one should make. I do it other way. I have become much more aware of the impulses that my body sends me - so I tend to choose food "by instinct". I believe body always tells you what it needs (okay, one could argue on addictive types of food like cheese or coffee :? ) ... so I do my best to listen to it. That means sometimes I can eat fruit all day long and some other days I get crazy about pasta. It works for me.

I always find it so amazing (and amusing) how many things I learn from the people who "irritate" me most. What a complex task - to be someone's teacher and student in one person. Too complex for understanding until you realize the Emptiness in its essence. I still have a long way to go :? ...

I'm sorry, what does "klesha" mean? I didn't find it in the Dharmaling dictionary. FALSE ALARM found it: Disturbing emotions. (Skt. klesha, Tib. nyön mong) Also called the "afflictive emotions," these are the emotional afflictions or obscurations (in contrast to intellectual obscurations) that disturb the clarity of perception. These are also translated as "poisons." They include any emotion that disturbs or distorts consciousness. The main kleshas are desire, anger and ignorance. I guess there is nothing more to add

Tashi Delek, lacu. first - please excuse my language, I am very new here and I may not always use the correct terms for expressing my thoughts on the matter. I believe most of us have similar problems. I was told a few days ago (hopefully my interpretation is correct!) that it is completely okay to let yourself experience such a pleasure but you should not get yourself attached to it. you should merely observe your mind what it is doing when experiencing that pleasure. of course that does not mean you should involve yourself into every opportunity that offers pleasure, I guess the wisdom of middle path should set some limits. obviously you are given a human body which can experience pleasure so why denying that (especially we, who have only just begun walking the path of Dharma ). the decision of each person is then what to do with it. either make it another point of attachment and hence suffering or transform it into one of the practices for you self-development. of course I can only speak from my point of view. so in the every day for me it looks something like this - when I find myself in a situation which can offer me pleasure (be it eating a delicious meal or meeting an adorable guy who shows the signs of liking me :%) I am trying to distance myself from mere experience of the pleasure and I observe what my mind starts doing - I get the opportunity to see many of my projections, prejudice and mind patterns arise. Really a lot is happening in my mind at that moment ... I try to see pleasure as one of the ways of experiencing life from the level of my own spiritual and self-development. All the "mind patterns" which arise give me the chance for an insight into what is really important for me and lead me to the question, why so. and then on and on (I transform it into some kind of a "meditation" on the subject). perhaps I am doing this wrong, I don't know. from a very precious discussion I had with Rinpoche it was an important view for me that I should not think that experiencing pleasure is something wrong on itself, but it does carry its value. surely, later on our path to enlightment this is also one of the "burdens" we have to get rid of. but my "walk" has merely begun I don't know if that is of any help to you, since it is only my personal experience. best regards

well I have to admit that the energy of any temple (be it buddhist, catholic, moslem or any else) feels very similar to me (perhaps your experience is different) - on most of the places I can find peace and wisdom. I was only wondering whether it was disrespectful toward any of the religions to perform one spiritual act (even if it is not visually noticed - I do it only in my mind) in a place, built for performing spiritual acts of another religion. my feeling tells me that it is okay, but still I wonder :maybe: This I understand. What about the dilemma I find myself in occasionally - using the Catholic symbols, for example making a cross before entering the church. for me it has a meaning in a way of expressing respect when entering the consecrated catholic place. it does not hold a deeper meaning than that to me. so, is it okay to still do it or does it mean I am acting as a pretender to do it?? when you visit a foreign country, you usually learn basic expressions like Hello, Thank you etc. in their language, as this means one way of showing the respect for their culture. you also greet them in a way that it is most respectful for them (their customs are on the first place), not necessarily for you. so is it the same when entering the consecrated places of other religions or meeting their priests, that you should adapt to their "ways" for the time being because of respect? :?: is there something like a "moral code" on this behaviour? I was wondering, what do you do when you find yourself in a situation like this?

Tashi Delek, In one of the interviews with HH the DalaiLama (has to be an old one because it was published in a book in 1993) I came across this question: "millions of westerners are attracted to the path of Dharma and so they are losing interest in their own religious tradition. is this good or bad?" HH the DalaiLama answered that there are two phenomena - some keep the faith in their prime religion and only accept some of the practices of another religion. he says this is very good. but others want to enter another religion completely and this phenomena is very dangerous. such persons should think it over very thoroughly, because it is not natural to undercut your own roots. if you do this very quickly, it often derives out of bitterness and disappointment toward your prime religion. then you become very critical toward your prime religion which is very bad, as it destroys the very spirit of religion, which is tolerance, wisdom and love. I understand this statement as a warning against too hasty decisions (especially for those which derive from the negative attitude toward a prime religion). when entering a religion, you need to take into consideration all the obligations and respect that comes along. but in many people's opinion it is not good to mix practices of different religions. so how could than that be good as HH stated? :< could it be like this, for example - in my prime religion I was baptised in a Catholic Church, but I didn't find answers to my questions in the frame of that Church. (of course I respect all who did find them and I still have a big respect to churches as holy temples.) I found them in Buddhism. as I am living on a countryside where the Catholic tradition is still very strong, many people go to church. I have to admit that I miss such a place as a buddhist temple or centre where I could go daily. and even though I never considered myself as being religious in a Catholic way, I often went to church when it was empty, because I enjoyed the peaceful environment it offered. so does that mean that I can also go to the church (as the sacred temple, not in the time of holy mass) for the time of some of my meditations :rules: or such "mixing" is not allowed? thank you for your opinion.

Tashi Delek, and thank you very much for your answers. I find them very helpful, they are something I've been searching for. The tools for making a decision and coming to a solution (which is now my part of the task ) Thank you for taking your time and responding. best regards

Tashi Delek, could somebody please tell me what is the best practice to do when you find yourself in an "exhausting" relationship from which you cannot simply leave? Perhaps this question is not to be discussed in this forum (??), but since it probably happened to most of people to find themselves in a similar situation, I would be very happy if you could tell me which practice is best to do to overcome the ego problem and see the relations as they truly are - the field of learning valuable lessons for life. I tried to meditate and I tried Tonglen but I somehow cannot get to the core of the problem. So, what would be a "good buddhist way" :? of solving such a situation? thank you for the help.