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Geblendet

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About Geblendet

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  1. Hello friends A few days ago i wrote a poem about this, i will post it here (if its not the right place for suchs things, plz delete it) :roll: in english: (or something alike ) Im sure in german it is better (because i dont knowenough words in english ^^), but i thing the point comes through hope i could help a bit i will see you all someday
  2. Oh, good than i understand that . But does that mean that i cant reincarnate as a plant someday, or that beeing a plant is just a other way of living a life wich i dont can imagine? I just wondering because they grow and they die so i thought they are living. Uh thats hard to answer, but its really not just because i dont want. I want, but i want not enough, thats my problem :-/. Its more a habit because i ate meat my whole life, nearly every day. I thing its so: Before buddhism i ate meat becaue i didnt knowed it better...., now i eat it because im to weak to stop it. So i have to use other methods, if words and understanding is not enough. I have to see what im doing, or what i let doing. Thank you, i will. greetings
  3. Not long ago i went to my aunt and on the way i watched the trees, the grass and the flowers, heared the birds and everything else surrounding me and while i looked to the grass wich wasent just green because the first flowers came out i asked myself: "I can walk, i can see, i can feel and more, but what can this flower do? Just standing arround an making me happy because of its look. Maybe this flower makes other people happy because of this look, and maybe it lets other insects or animals, lets say beeings survive. I dont know if a flower is real or not, but there is one thing im sure. When im real, and when im allive and when i see that flower and when that flower growed some day like i did, than this flower is a beeing like me. Maybe this flower cant think or feel or walk like me, but this flower exists like me and like the insects and the animals." This brought me to the point that this flower has the same right to life like me, and like the other animals and insects, so now i dont understand whats the difference in killing and eating a animal and killing and eating a flower (or fruits, however ^^). I dont know, maybe i think wrong but for me there isntn a difference anymore in humans, animals and plants. They are all the same. Our scientists did much tests with plants and what i think is that plants know whats going on arround them, so im sure they know whats going on when somebodys coming and killing them. People who talk with their plants and love them will have more sucess in creating a gardnen then people who dont like their flowers so much. A good Idea! I cannot stop eating meat now, but maybe when i take a look at a slaugtherhouse i can change my mind. Thats the smallest thing i can do because when i see my steak on the plate than its just a steak on my plate and no pig, or cow or whatever. :?
  4. Hello everyone again Theres no subject where i can post this, so i write it here, that i dont spam your board with new Topics ^^ I returned because i want to ask when Lama Shenphen Rinpoche comes to Vienna, and where he will be and about what topics he will talk. Im sure i read somewhere something about the april 2004, i hope i dont missed him. :oops: bye bye
  5. Hi again , yeah i slept well, thank you. I stopped smoking yesterday for the rest of my life 8O . We had no Kung Fu series but i have a tape at home, in english the name is "Shaolin Kung Fu - In the centre of energy - 1500 years Shaolin Temple". Thats a reportage about them from 1995. The movie´s from Herbert Fechter and the idea from Jian Wang . I will bookmark that page and read it today, i have to help someone with his computer in a few minutes :roll: . @ LamaShenphen Thank you very much for that email i have much questions . And i already read the four Noble truths but not on this page... i tried it, but the englisch was too extrem ^^. I have to read it often that i dont forget them, but that was that what i meaned with "So i lived on as a better human". After the first day i read my reclam book the people asked me "Hey fernandez, wazzup with you?? Y u are so happy???".. "because theres nothing to be worry about :)". I mutated in a few days from a pessimist to an optimist and really everything changed, just because my thinking changed. Oke, now i really have to go, i dont want to let my neighbor wait, because when i waitto long, she will take hear computer and through it to the closed window Thanks for your helpfulness, have a nice day
  6. Hi again First, thanks for your answers , i looked for a community near me and what a luck, theres one (æ#150;BR). There are workshops and much more, i will check that out. I dont know whos a "real" lama (and i cant explain you whats a lama ^^), and who not... Is it so that just one lama teaches you, or can u go to more people? Because of the temple.... when i was really young (im still young [19]) i wanted to become a priest. I dont knowed why, but it just was a wish and after the years that wish died. but not because it just was a youthdream, it died because i realized that, to be a catolic priest isntn that i want. There where rulez i dont understanded. They telled me thinks i should believe, but they couldnt give me one proof that they talk the truth. So that wish was away and someday i saw a movie about shaolin monks. Omg, i still remember how cool they where for me . So strong and wise. But lets be realistic ^^, someone like me isntn able to reach that lvl of control. So i read more, i read about ghosts, about ufos, about OBES, about psi, about everything wich can make me mightier. Maybe i played to much computergames but than i find the buddhism. At first it was just a laugh, because i thought its a religion like every other. Theres a god and angelstuff and prophets and nobody knows whats going on, but that wasent so. in the buddhism they tell you how it is, why it is, and how u can reach it. And thats the point why im so fascinated. It excists so long, and nobody telled me from that ^^, but back to the temple. After that all i remembered my wish from the youth and i thought, maybe something in me knowed what will happen. Maybe something in me just wanted to tell me "Hey, be a monk, it will be the best for you!". Maybe not... but it doesnt matter . in a temple you have peace and nobody bother you, but outside theres so much trouble around you. And when i work... isntn that bad? Because in work there are problems to. thinks wich have be done and a chef who stresses you because he want something, and at night u have to thing about the next day, because when u come to work you have to do this and that and the this from that that and so on, ^^. Oke, but however, i dont know nothing now, and how i said i will go to that community , maybe i change my mind and im sure in the next days everything will change . The most important thing is that i now know that theres a way to get healed, or better explained... that im some kind of sick. No i dont knowed that, but i live in Vienna . The problem is my english, i dont think i understand him :-/. Ok, thanks again for your help , i wish you all the best, and now i go to bed ^^. its 1 am
  7. theres something i have to say to this. Maybe when u read this u think that it makes me angry what i know, but im really happy for that, the only thing is that that what i want to become looks million miles away from me....
  8. Hi to everyone, first at all i have to say that my english is really bad, so it can be that some words i use are not that one i mean :? , but i think the smileys help a bit Ok, this wednesday i had a experience wich changed my life and my thinking, but i feel that i forget it more and more, day for day and every second i life here. Im 19 and came from vienna, and read some books about buddhismus a few days before that. Much things i read i understanded, and some things i dont, some thing i thought i understand, but realized that i dont understanded it right... so i lifed on like everyday but as a better human as before. And this wednesday i came home and sitted down in front of my computer like everyday and played civilization 3. I smoked a pipe because im a unky :cry: and falled into daydreaming. I dont know the word in english, its when u look at a point for long time and your mind is somewhere else, deep into thoughts. when i do this i dont realize that im doing this, so i dont realized what im thinking at the first time. i thought about the thinks i read in this books, and a thought life dont excists and i have to fly away from all this arround me. a last thought in my head was that i dont should identify myself with all the feelings i have and at this point i really get shocked 8O , i just remembered myself. I falled into a familiar state wich i have forgotten in my childhood (i think). Everything what i interpreted as my body, as my self in my life was away, my mind talked, but my body was quiet... away. But the best thing in this expierience was the luck i feeled. it was all i realized, but it was everywhere . For me it feeled like i everytime had this state, but the feelings i have retard me to see whats really going on. It was the best expierience in my life and everything was so clear at this moment.... aeh not clear, clear is the wrong word, everything just get nonrelevant. It feeled like the freedom wich i searched my whole life, but the problem is... im not able to get this state again. :roll: I tried it with meditation, but my thoughts dont let me through, and at this moment im scared that i dont get free. :cry: The Christs everytime telled me that i come to heaven when im a good human, when i just do good things, but they never telled me that my thoughts are the important things. Btw, i never was a real christ, but its our religion. Because of this i read more about that what buddah said, but my problem get bigger, because i cant go this way he did.... i have to work, i have to watch for my mother (thats why i cant go away from austria) and everytime there are so much humans arround me who wanna here excuses for everything i do. :evil: They tell me so much, and everthing they tell me is so unimportant for me, but i need that to survive here. How can i give answers to questions i dont understand? When i feel thats somethings right, but dont can explain the reason in words, than i cant give them a answer. I dont know what i have to do, the only thing i know is, that i dont want to go the path i went before. I hope someone here can show me the way... i know i have to go it allone, but without a map im sure that i fall into the darkness again. I heard we have 2 temples here in austria, maybe i should go there and find myself, but whatever i will reach im so thankful that there are people who know what to do, because im not able to find it out for myself..... :roll:... I still cant believe that i just forgott who i am...
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