robert.vdheide

thank you a lot i realized that life in slovenia has different challenges than here in the netherlands were things are overorganized and time goes faster i would like to ad im not blaming anyone but me and the first 18 jrs of my life and living in frustration and ignorance for 22 years after that .still if you want to give me advice i will email more detailled but wich email adress? should i send it to so you would get it instead of everyone so i really can write all details of the matter im not that good with the computer and managed to keep it out of my life until last november. now i can see the possebilitys of it too.i have a habit of using spaces instead of punctuations and will try better ,but that cannot be the biggest problem right ,its the intention that counts .at least i hope otherwise only educated people cuold receive help and yes sorry i notice still some frustration and agitation on this punctuation matter and will look what karma i created to feel that way Robert ok i see i can send e mail by clickin you avatar so iwill do that

being on the path finally its great beiing there for all sentient beings but since youth has passed and still not found a partner even though i stopped wanting it for several years now but havent met its a big splinter in my existance every now and then it brings me down when realizing i havent met her yet or will i ever? also never found any teachings how to cope with it or how to realize it and accepting it just as karma seems not fair to myself so im 40 now and almost there is no time anymore would also have experience of sexuality even though i made it impossible in past by pushing everybody away dharma teachings of lama shenphen are great help to keep straight and balanced but this one really takes me out please need help before theres nothing possible and im an old man i know that being alone could be great advantage on the path but thats not my wish for now mabey after having had the expirience but i dont seem to MEET it is driving me sad and frustrated for some hours and then when letting it go its alright again but several days later i see havent MET i know not to expect so not put suffering in the future please understand my big wish and frustration and please really HELP when i become a buddha i start teaching abuot this matter if theres nothing to be said about it yet since it seems that everyone has sexuality and its also ment to be shared in companionship with a partner if you find her , looking forward to a HELPFULL answer wich wil solve this gap in my being robert.vdheide netherlands