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Simona

How To Deal With Fear

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Good morning to all! Well, I have got one question regarding the fear. And I would use one example to be more picturesque. When Slovene football team played with Croatia football team, it was said for the first, they didn`t play well because they were afraid of the other football team as they suppose to be much better players. So, how in such case psychologically prepare the weaker team? I am thinking may be to put them in an insulation before the match (no TV, no news, no mobile phones) and not to tell them, who their opposite team is. That, they would find out directly in the stadium, but not before. In the weeks before the match I would prepare them as they would play against the best football team of the world. When they would find out on the day of the match they are not playing against the best team, they would feel better in a way "oh, it is only Croatia and not Italy or France or Brasil!"

 

In the case where one is afraid of something, is it good to compare that fear with some even worse "something" to lessen the significance of the first or in this way one enlarge the fear itself?

 

Best regards,

Simona

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Good afternoon :)

So, how in such case psychologically prepare the weaker team? I am thinking may be to put them in an insulation before the match
From what i know about team sports, the type where one group is directly competing another, it is very important to prepare not "in the best possible way", but specifically for the one team you will be competing against. Each player, and each team has a whole net of different qualities and abilities, with some present injuries, and the coach's job is to make a one-time strategy, that will be most efficient in coping with that particular set of challenges. The coach that will be able to take advantage of possible holes in the opposite team (and protect the holes in one's own team) by using the specific skills of his/her players, will be a good coach. This all sounds quite nice ;) and it is probably true. But sometimes when i look at some foot-ball matches, it seems like sheer luck has more to do with it! :laugh:

 

In the case where one is afraid of something, is it good to compare that fear with some even worse "something" to lessen the significance of the first or in this way one enlarge the fear itself?
I think the practice of taking and giving is supposed to produce such and effect (lessen the fear), and to build good courage in advance.

I don't like to think about a worse type of situation (i think it would only disturb more), I rather try to think about how I can make the best of the situation, with as much inner peace as i can. But i know that some people like to scare themselves, at least a little bit, which i don't really get...

 

Best regards, K

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The fear is an emotion and it is triggered independently from reasonable thinking, so to say before reasonable thinking. That, comes later. If. That is why when I prepare myself on some scary situation in advance by reasoning it, then later when I am on-line with it, these all doesn`t help. Simply, it doesn`t work.

 

I think the emotional response takes place no matter how one is able to cover it, some people start to act even more cool, but this doesn`t mean they are cool inside. It is a question of cosmetique.

 

So, I was thinking to somehow outsmart the amigdale, or the emotional mind - if you wish - with using the same "weapon" as it itself uses usually, yet turn it into my own favor and benefit.

 

Best regards,

Simona

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Good morning!

 

So, I was thinking to somehow outsmart the amigdale, or the emotional mind - if you wish - with using the same "weapon" as it itself uses usually, yet turn it into my own favor and benefit.

From my experience, it is best not to linger on the fear in advance, as this can even make it worse. Once it arises, you simply accept it to be there (not trying to fight it), and then - shaking and clattering with your teeth, if it is that bad - concentrate on what really matters: what to do in the situation, what are the possible solutions. If there are beings you are afraid of, it helps to look at them with understanding and kindness and compassion, no matter how horrible they seem.

And it also helps to give in to what is frightening you - not to resist, not to try to avoid, and not stand in front of it for ages, as all this will eat a lot of your energy for no result.

There is a book I never actually read, but I like the title: "Feel the fear and do it anway". ;)

 

All the best :)

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Hello,

 

I have one question vaguely connected to the theme above, since fear might be a side effect of the competitive nature of sport. So, are competitive sports compatible with Buddhism?

 

I see no problem in sports based on overcoming oneself (like hill climbing), they probably can be beneficial - cultivating discipline, perseverance, endurance and concentration. But in sports based on competition (tennis, football etc.) the major point is in defeating the opponent and rejoicing in one's domination. Personally, I enjoy playing these sports, but I am ambiguous with regard to their effect. Clearly, the fun is gone, if there is no competition (if e.g. 2 people just passed the ball over the net in tennis or maybe train their technique, it would get boring sooner rather than later :( ).

 

Some might say that recreational activity is not controversial - since it is done also for the purpose of relaxation. That's true, but on a more 'subtle' level it probably leaves an imprint of rejoicing in overcoming another person or of bitterness in case of loosing and that doesn't sound like a Bodhichitta motivation ;) . And in case of professional sportsmen the motivation is probably even worse (money, fame etc.)

 

On the other hand e.g. Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Norbu Rinpoche is a known football fan

;) , and His Holiness Karmapa also has some experience with watching football games http://www.kagyuoffice.org/June%202003/index.html

 

So, are competitive sports compatible with Buddhist's views? Thank You ;) .

 

Best regards,

Draftsman

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But in sports based on competition (tennis, football etc.) the major point is in defeating the opponent and rejoicing in one's domination. Personally, I enjoy playing these sports, but I am ambiguous with regard to their effect.
I accompany one young football team for several years, and my personal approach is that one can take a football as kind of philosophy and/or psychology. As the saying goes "where ever I go, I meet myself" in the football, this is true as well.

So, that team experienced so many victories and failures in past years, that they become aware how every victory and failure is sweet/bitter, yet short-lasting. It also happened that they won a match, but came out of it completely indifferent. "Because we didn`t play well," was their comment. They put great attention on the technique and they are great friends. What counts is being in the harmony with oneself and with the team (victory/failure are only side effects).

And, that require a lot of self discipline, working on oneself basically, mastering the negative emotions as well. Like when you see for example a ballet dancer or skater, whos movements are smooth and at ease, in harmony and could make you think "oh, this looks so easy to do!"

 

Best regards,

Simona

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Tashi Delek,

I see here many questions opened not just one ;) As to fear I would say that mahayana motivation is something that helps to overcome it great deal. If you do something for the sake of all sentient beings than from a "zero" you can become a "hero" :) I would say that it defenitely changes a lot. As otherwise than there are many more fears - depends on attachments maybe?

As for the team sports, well, maybe in professional sports where there is a lot of money involved it does get that "ugly" - beat the enemy no matter , I don't know. But I thought that the sport is something that should connect people in positive way and there are strong ethics involved as to what is considered a good sports behaviour. There is also skill involved, cooperation in team sports... Ups, not the right one to comment this as I'm not really into watching sports.. But there is also a saying in Slovene - to take something in s spotly spirit (not sure about translation) - which I would understand - being unatached to result, rejoicing in other people's skills, adhere to the rules of the game and not to have negative feelings about the person who was better in some skill...

Saying this, although sport can also(the way I see it) help one to develop good qualities, it doesn't have the goal to liberate beings from samsara.

best regards,

ajda

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Saying this, although sport can also(the way I see it) help one to develop good qualities, it doesn't have the goal to liberate beings from samsara.
It could be a good pre-disposition for further development of the Compassion, though. During sharp trainings a sportsman goes through quite some suffering, sometimes it goes till exhaustion, as H. H. The Dalai Lama wrote. Yet, the sportsman does not see a pain in his doing, because he sees the whole matter as an achievement. If you were make this very person to do some other bodily work for example, he would think why he needs to suffer soooo much. A lot is up to mental direction, motivation. And, when we face the sufferings of the other sentient being, we can feel some disturbance, discomfort or unbearableness, yet under the surface of all these, there is awakeness and firm motivation and determination to help.

 

Best regards,

Simona

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