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Pamo

Meeting negative situations, ....

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Tashi Delek,

refering to the Saturday's teachings in Ljubljana-Brod I was wondering about what was pointed out about how to take the phenomina, but mostly people who act negatively...as a precious jewel, teaching us a meaningful strong lesson, as a practice.

But where is the limit? Some situations can last long, what if the mind is not yet strong enough and is therefore only creating even more negativity itself? If I remeber correctly, in another Teaching, I think of Bodhisattva Way of Life, it was said that we should avoid negatively oriented people, until becoming stronger to be able to help without loosing what of good has already been attainted?

Probaly situations in families, or similar, are considered differently?

Thank you and all the very best,

pamo

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Guest lodreu

Tashi Delek,

 

I think the point is to use all situations we have to face due to our karma with the best view, the best motivation, intention, etc ...

For this we have to prepare our mind, to influence our way of reacting, see the situations with a different approach than the usual self-centered emotional one.

 

We try to develop the different perfections, we try to generate the wish to benefit others in every situations as much as possible. And doing this we see that it would be at our level very difficult to unweed the different emotions, the different negativities, to complete the different accumulations, without the help of the others.

At the same time they show us what we need to work on in a direct way, and they are powerful objects for us to accumulate positive karma and merits. In that way they are like jewels for our practice.

If they are ordinary people they show efficiently our own limitations and the attitudes to do not reproduce. If they are Bodhisattvas they show us the exemples to avoid and the way to liberation. In both cases they are as important for our spiritual growth as precious jewels.

 

Nevertheless as our mind is still very influencable, it is good to try as much as possible to stay away from the source of negativities, to try to stay in company of those practicing virtue. Eventhough you can be in the society, living and working, meeting the different situations you have generated the causes for, you can still choose the people you are living with, you are meeting, who are composing your close circle.

It won't prevent you from the opportunity of practicing seeing others as precious jewels :wink: As difficult situations in which we generate negative emotions are coming from our own obscurations and ignorance.

But at least in the proper company our mind will be influenced in the best way, and in the different situations we meet, we might be able to remember quicker the motivation of the Dharma practice

 

Best regards,

Lodreu.

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Tashi delek dear Pamo :hello:

 

Some situations can last long, what if the mind is not yet strong enough and is therefore only creating even more negativity itself? If I remeber correctly, in another Teaching, I think of Bodhisattva Way of Life, it was said that we should avoid negatively oriented people, until becoming stronger to be able to help without loosing what of good has already been attainted?

pamo

 

If you can avoid negativity, difficult people and situations until your mind is not stable, avoid it better.

If you cannot avoid it, fine, take it as a opportunity to grow, getting stong, it is the chance to integrate the teachings, you know learning by doing, training you emotional muscles.

 

 

Well, I can tell you something from my life, maybe it will help you.

 

I was quite new into buddhism, and then I came in a very difficult situation in my life, almost all parts of my life got touched: education, health, partnership , job etc.

I was not a tree witch had enough strong roots to survive a stong storm, I had simply not the possiblity, the time for it to let grow my roots, thus my mind got extremely negative. :twisted:

But somehow I remembered the teachings, that there was something I heared about how to deal with difficult situations, and Lamas helped me in a way by telling me it is my bad karma and showed me paths what I can do in order to get healthy again etc.

 

So I began to read books on this topic how to deal with emotions, the 7 mind point training, tonglen etc, I " tryed" to bring those things into practice {..}

It helped with time to transform my way of seeing things, although it needed long time for me to forgive for the things certain people had done to me., you know it needed time till it went from the intellect to the heart. This process is going like in a wave, sometimes you succeed sometimes not, you fall so easily back to old patterns.

And the best was that I sat down on my back practicing lots of Vajrasattva.....So the difficulties brought me more into practice.

 

Somehow they were my best teachers, I guess if I will meet now a very difficult situation I will be more prepared.

They were really training me. :P

The situation was such treatening for me that I saw just 2 ways: Either I will sink with my ship or I will survive by stuggeling very hard, and what doesn`t kills me just makes me stronger.

 

And it was a teaching of impermanence. Now when so many good things are happening to me, but sometimes it comes ten in my mind, in a way of an automatic mechanism :

"Well it could be destroyed in a secound, like it happened already to me."

...it makes me more alert and I do not become so much freeked out when something good happens. It is more like, you know, we can never know to what a seemingly good thing can develop, vice versa we can never know to what a difficult situation will develop, what good things will a bad situation bring and what bad things will a good situation bring.....

 

I hope that one day I can really love and venerate those 2 persons who really bestowed on me lots of difficulties for my life. !:! I am still in the process.

Actually they are just my own mirrow.......But realization and intellectual knowing are 2 different things.

 

With all my best wishes

Csillag

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Tashi Delek,

thank you both for your replies.

I was indeed, Lodreu-la, looking for a confirmation, distinction between meeting circumstances as they come, and choosing company of a day-to-day life. Even if it has to be rechosen after a long time....Thanks Csillag for sharing what you have. It's beautiful and uplifting.

:* all the very best

pamo

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Tashi Delek,

 

Though I feel Ven. Lodreu's answer was perfect :) i would like to share a few excerpts.

 

In Bodhicharyavattara, Eighth Chapter (Perfection of Meditation) we find:

"13. Between one fool and another, something non-virtuous is inevitable, such as glorification of one’s own self, speaking ill of others, and conversation about the pleasures of the cycle of existence.

14. Thus, on account of one’s association with someone else, one encounters adversity. I shall happily live alone with a non-afflicted mind.

15. One should flee far from a fool.(...)"

 

On the other hand, there is the Third Chapter (Adopting the Spirit of Awakening) :)

6. May the virtue that I have acquired (...) relieve every suffering of sentient beings!

7. May I be the medicine and the physician for the sick. May I be their nurse until their illness never recurs!

8. With showers of food and drink may I overcome the afflictions of hunger and thirst! May I become food and drink during times of famine.

9. May I be an inexhaustible treasury for the destitute! With various forms of assistance may I remain in their presence."

 

And there is the Fifth Chapter (Guarding Introspection):

"48. When one sees one’s own mind to be attached or repulsed, then one should neither act nor speak, but remain still like a piece of wood.

49. When my mind is haughty, sarcastic, full of conceit and arrogance, ridiculing, evasive, and deceitful,

50. When it is inclined to boast, or when it is contemptuous of others, abusive, and irritable, then I should remain still like a piece of wood.

..."

 

I feel we should earnestly try to develop a genuine sense of respect for and cherish the others from the depth of our hearts, with as much humility as possible, and then try to help them the best we can (this is like reading an excerpt by His Holiness ;)). But when we are in some inner turmoil, it is better to stand still, and relocate the right motivation. When somebody "ticks us off", or hurts our image of ourselves, is there a better test of sincerity of our motivation -8)-?... as most respected Rinpoche has taught many many times... :D

 

There is certainly a LOT to meditate on, work on. :) It's a great challenge I feel. If we view life in this way there is a lot to be happy about, a lot to look forward to.

 

Best regards,

Khyenrab

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Tashi Delek,

 

If I may add my recollections from a sutra, which I read on the Internet but don't remember the name :roll: ... It's very revealing of how we should react wether faced with difficult or pleasing circumstances...

It says to be like the four elements. Be like Water, like Fire, like Earth, like Air.

Because no matter what you spray, pour or spill into them, wether it is delicate incense and perfume, or disgusting matters, blood, pus or excrements, the elements accept them as they are, without judgment nor rejection, without attachment nor hate or anger, they take them and transform them, regardless of what they are, they act the same towards anything and everything you give them... We should do just the same, accept anything we get from this life, without attachment, desire, anger or hate, and "transform" it into voidness...

Best regards.

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....and there I pray to be as soon as possible able to take it it's said above....

thank you

pamo

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