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Csillag

Drinking alkohol, taking drugs

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Tashi delek :hello:

 

It is said when one is abstaining from drinking alkohol, one will have a great memory.The teachings on karma say, that one possible outcome of negative karma of drinking alkohol can be that when you get reborn as a human being ,you will tend to drink again alkohol in your next life.

 

Now lets take the following situation: A girl is born into a family, her father is alkoholics. She herself doesn`t like alkohol at all. Not just that her father is alkoholics but when she gets older she starts to attract boyfrieds who have a alkohol or drog problem. Her memory is more weak than good.

 

From a karmic point of view , why is her situation like this ?To be born is such a family with alkohol problems must have a cause.

 

Maybe she herself was drinking much alkohol in one of her past lifes, regret it, and stopped drinking alkohol totally, but she did not managed to purify the whole karma of having driking alkohol. That`s why in her present life the alkohol is still a topic for her manifesting in her nearest sourrounding, even if she herself is not driking alkohol and is not taking drogs ? Is this possible ?

:crunch:

 

With all my best wishes

Csillag

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Tashi Delek.

 

On the basis of my experiences I would say that people, who drink an alcohol are in a way “frightened”. And I stay behind that statement. I think that one had been experienced one or more events in his life (usually in the childhood), in which a great fear was arising. And I would say that those events or an event, what ever, it was connected to one`s body. It had to be something with the body, physical abuse, physical violent act upon the body. I mean, it had not to be a psychological pain only, which was experienced. Such a person experienced a great bodily pain, which one can not accept. Further, one can not accept the fear, which is also a result of that pain. And such person suffers a lot. Drinking an alcohol is only the way, how one deals with own body on the basis of the traces, made by experiensing a violent act in the past, and it is about strong and deep traces. It is about demaging the body. I would say that drinking an alcohol it is not a run-away from the painful experience, yet it is a way to re-experiencing it again and again. Cause usually one would tell you about the unpleasant experience only when one is drunk, and also when one is drunk usually would act in a violent way towards the others or oneself. Maybe one was in the past, who also caused to the others bodily pains (might has to be a soldier, just think how many wars took place in the history). And now, why someone is surrounded with mainly with the people, who drink an alcohol and what everything stay behind that, i. e. bodily pain, caused by a violent act? I think that asking “why” will not be at any help. One meets people, between them are some debts to be settled. The only way is to make a free space in oneself in which all the people are accepted and understood empathically with a great care and love. And to be aware that we, who are together now, it is only a part of the way, which we will go together.

 

Best regards,

 

Simona

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Tashi delek dear Simona :hello:

 

I think that asking “why” will not be at any help. One meets people, between them are some debts to be settled. The only way is to make a free space in oneself in which all the people are accepted and understood empathically with a great care and love.  

 

Thank you very much for your answer and the interesting illustriation how someone can become alkoholics.

 

About psychtherapy I know some as I am becoming a psychotherapist, as well I know that dwelling on what happened in past lifes has not much sence and that it is buddhist way to accept people without judgement , also because we have a baby buddha within us.Everybody can change, and for everything there is a cause, if we are ready to look behind the curtain, than we can give much more rise to love and compassion. :%

 

Actually I just try to understand karma more deeply..........the finer aspects, as it is taught in Buddhism. I do not want to mix it up with Psychology.

 

When I am learning Psychology, I just concentrate on that, trying to understand various psychological aspects

When I am learning Dharma, I just concentrate on that,trying to understand also finer points of the buddhist teachings, for instance by asking questions.

When I have of both a sound, good basic knowledge, maybe than I will try to see how both go together or not. What is common or not.

 

Namkai Norbu Rinpoche was very much warning from mixing Dharma with Psychology, it creates a very heavy karma.He made me to think, and this is why I like to devide both at the moment very strictly.

 

Of course it is interesting, to see how an certain event is influencing oneself, has leaded to present result, or how should I say it....

We can dwell on such things, on psychology, maybe we get some understanding how karma functions: cause and effect within this present lifetime.

 

But still psychology is very much open to ones own interpretations, I tell you there are so many directions, opinions within Psychology, the more you get into this field the more you get sceptical of what people are saying/claiming:

"This was the result, why Mr. XY became alkoholics."

Another person then sayes: No, something else was the cause ",

and all the times there is a new theory, which is than better as the old one.

And then comes the Neurology /medicine which sayes, psychotherapie is not right, for instance what Freud said that children were supressing past experiences into the subconsciousness is not true, Freud did not know that there is explizit and implicit part of memory existing, and the explicit memory is just developing later, that is why children cannot remember later tramatic experiences of your childhood.

According to Neurology the sickness endogen depression, endogen mania, schizophrenia, borderline has not mainly to do with traumas of past, it is mostly a biological defect which just gets stimulated through difficult /traumatic situations.

 

Psychology is somehow a game, very interesting, but psychology knowledge does not come from an enlightened mind.And it is all the time changing. The same for neurology, for the whole sience.

Therefore I prefer to rely on Buddha as my soley refuge.

 

Psychotherapy I just learn in order to survive in this world, but as I start to have more and more problems with the theories of psychology, and having more positive experiences with buddhist methods on my self and on others ( I have a patient who was for 15 years at psychoanalyses,and verhaltenstherapie, it did not really helped him, now he is doing shine and thinks more of karma, how to deal with negative emotions, that helps him much more )

......so I don`t think I will stay just with psychotherapy.

 

Of course it is helpful to know about psychotherapy, psychology, and to a certain extent one can help people, but psychology is limited, limited to this life, providing you a "possible better samsara" this life, but sometimes it even causes the opposite

( breathingtherapy, rebirthing and family work a la Bert Hellinger caused people sometimes to become even more crazy and ending up in Psychiatry).

 

Furthermore, when in psychology it is said the patient got tramatized lets say when he was still within the womb of his mother, yes of course it could explain something. But psychology has no answer why it had to happen like that, why this poor XY had to get born by mother X.

What happened in childhood, is not always the cause for what happens now, many times it is just the condition for that the result can happen. Cause lies often in past lifes, sometimes within this life. But how do we differentiate ?

It is said that to understand emptiness is more easy to understand karma.

 

What we experience is due to causes and conditions. Causes can be multiple, if they are not always multiple, and we should not confuse cause with conditions by following some exlanations of psychology, which could be tomorrow again untrue, refuted my another theory or medical research.

 

With all my best wishes

Csillag

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Tashi Delek.

 

When I am learning Psychology, I just concentrate on that, trying to understand various psychological aspects

When I am learning Dharma, I just concentrate on that,trying to understand also finer points of the buddhist teachings, for instance by asking questions.

When I have of both a sound, good basic knowledge, maybe than I will try to see how both go together or not. What is common or not.

 

There is a story that the Buddha told once about the rajah who invited several blind beggars in the garden, where an elephant was standing. Each of them hold the elephant of a different parts (tusk, trunk, foot,...) and described it accordinglly. They described what they perceived. Same with a different theories. They do describe authentically about the subject of the investigation in a narrow aspect. Might be true what they say, but it is not a whole story.

 

And you wrote that according to Neurology the sickness endogen depression, endogen mania, schizophrenia, borderline has not mainly to do with traumas of past, it is mostly a biological defect which just gets stimulated through difficult /traumatic situations.

 

About the schizophrenia I read a book. It was about a man who was sexually abused in the childhood, many times from the part of his grandmother and also his mother. Each time an violent act happend, he estabished a new person within himself, who experienced such an act and split this "new" person from the picture he usually kept about himself. He kept within himself, now I don`t remember exactly, about 14 persons or more. When the abuse graduated, he would call a special person from within, which was self-sacrificing and which would protect him and go through the painful experience instead of him. All these different persons were stored in the alaya and as long as they were stored in the alaya, he functioned "normally". When he was about 30, it started to happened so called switches when he became someone else. It was when the manas, which is conducted by the ego, decided to reveal the "material", till then being suppressed. When he asked why he got sick at the time being 30 years old, he has got an answer, that it was the most apropriate time to deal with the abuse. It is that someone encounter the problems, sicknesses, difficulties, when one is ready to deal with them. Usually one run away from them, but there is time to come when one will face them. And one will face them again and again, so many times till one be ready to let them go. When one is ready to forgive the others, who hurt one and also oneself to created "bad" causes. From my point of view is easier to forgive the others than myself.

 

Best regards,

 

Simona

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Tashi delek :hello:

 

There is a story that the Buddha told once about the rajah who invited several blind beggars in the garden, where an elephant was standing. Each of them hold the elephant of a different parts (tusk, trunk, foot,...) and described it accordinglly. They described what they perceived. Same with a different theories. They do describe authentically about the subject of the investigation in a narrow aspect. Might be true what they say, but it is not a whole story.

 

- This is a very good example !I think it describes the whole situation very well, thank you.

 

 

About the schizophrenia I read a book.  

- What kind of book was it ? Because what you are discribing is sort of dissociative sickness, this particular is called multiple personal sickenss ( multiple persönlichkeitsstörung ). Most people who have not psychological knowledge think that schizophrenia is multiple personal sickness.This is not right.

Schizophrenia is something else, there are 4 main types of it. If you are interested in this topic you should read medical books. I won`t write more about schizophrenia here, because this is an buddhist forum and not a psycho forum.

 

I would appreciate it if we could stay with one topic, which is karma.

I hope that someone will answer my questions on karma.

 

With all my best wishes

Csillag

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Tashi Delek.

 

What we experience is due to causes and conditions. Causes can be multiple, if they are not always multiple, and we should not confuse cause with conditions by following some exlanations of psychology, which could be tomorrow again untrue, refuted my another theory or medical research.

 

Yes, we should not to mix up the causes with the conditions and we should not to mix up the causes with the triggers. When one encounters somebody else and often it is not needed that the other even says or do something, it is enough to be presented, to be perceived, then one experiences a feeling, it might be an anger, a jealousy, an injustice, a happiness,... And if one think, that the other is a cause of one own anger, it won`t be correct. The other is just a trigger, which brings one negativity into the open, where one can deal with and let it go. One should be aware of something first in order to make some changes. So, one should to deal with this feeling and not with the others, like to accuse them or quarrel or revenge. That`s why it is said that one`s enemy is one`s the best teacher. And from the ethical point of view, I wonder if triggering the pain or the other negativities in the others (being not aware of doing it, cause one could never know, what kind of feelings trigger in the others, despite of positive motivation) is ethical? That is what I would like to know. And I would like to know what is a difference between the trigger and the cause? Is it that the others are playing a role of the triggers and we own are playing a role of the causes? If so, the others are not responsible for my own negativities and can not trigger the special aspect of the karma to ripen, if I wouldn`t create a cause for it by myself. Ethically I am responsible to not create negative karma for myself in order that somewhere in the future the others will not need to play the role of the trigger and get involved into creating negative karma by their own side for themselves.

 

Best regards,

 

Simona

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Tashi delek :hello:

 

And if one think, that the other is a cause of one own anger, it won`t be correct. The other is just a trigger, which brings one negativity into the open, where one can deal with and let it go.  

So, one should to deal with this feeling and not with the others, like to accuse them or quarrel or revenge. That`s why it is said that one`s enemy is one`s the best teacher.

 

- I agree with you.

 

And from the ethical point of view, I wonder if triggering the pain or the other negativities in the others (being not aware of doing it, cause one could never know, what kind of feelings trigger in the others, despite of positive motivation) is ethical? That is what I would like to know.

 

- Well I think to our best ability we should be more aware what kind of feelings we "could" trigger in others. The more we get away from seeing just ourselves, the more sensitive we get for others, the more we can read between the lines and gestures, the better we will be in reacting towards others.

And if we would be somewhat clearsighted, when we would trigger in others negative emotions, we would know that the outcome of it will be good.

So I think this is a question of how much awareness we do have for others, it a question of compassion and how much you can let your ego go.

 

 

 

And I would like to know what is a difference between the trigger and the cause? Is it that the others are playing a role of the triggers and we own are playing a role of the causes?

 

- I would say yes, others are the triggers for our own created actions in the past.

 

Let`s say you meet someone and this someone makes you really angry.

I understand what there is happening in the following way:

 

On a superficial level it seems that the cause for getting angry is that you were meating a person who behaved in a nasty way towards you, that was the cause for your anger.

But when we look deeper:

 

1. The reason why you were meeting such a person who behaved nasty towards you, could be that you yourself have a kind of angry energy consciously or unconsciously, and that attracts than people who are nasty to you, like a mirror. You will just attract a person who has a karmic link with you.

2.Maybe this person is harming you because in a past life you were harming others, maybe also himself.So this energy of having harmed others will attract the ones who would like to harm you.This is also a kind of mirror.

3. Maybe the experience of that someone is harming you is just totally your fantasie, the other one do not wanted to harm you at all, was not nasty at all from his point of view, maybe even tryed to benefit you, but you perceived it as harm, because of your negative mind, interpretating many things in a negative way.( many people who tend to paranoja or have paranoja have these problems ). This is again your mirror, mirror of being afraid,to be afraid has lots to do with aversion.

4. Psychology would say, because in your childhood you could not overcome a certain trauma, if you get into similar situations, you will react with same patterns, projecting lets say your father on others, lets say on your boss. Your boss do not want to be nasty with you, but because you see in him your father, you behave in such a way ( self fulfilling profesie )that he has to put on unconsciously the role on of being nasty....there are several possible situations concerning projection.Also this we can see as a mirror.

 

So the real cause lies within ourselves.

We have to be very mindful not to become an fulfilling condition for others bad karmas they`ve created in the past.

 

Let´s say I meet a person who really upsets me. And this person has something in his personality which usually upsets many other persons as well, even if this person is very kind and is not harming others. Therefore this person hears many unpleasant words etc.

 

Now I meet this person, and the impulse comes:

"I would like to scream at this person."

 

If I am a practitioner, I could think:

"No, I do not want to become the condition for him having to experience unpleasant words, just because his way of being is irritating me. If I react angry with him, I just accumulate more negative karma, then he becomes my condition for riping negative karma. That I meet him, and that unpleasant feelings are coming up, has something to do with me. Maybe I was upsetting people in my past life, or something similar.

I better take him as my practice. If I react on him irritated, angry, then this is just because my mind is negative. If I would be full of compassion, I would feel sorry for him that he appears irritating to others and I would help him by finding a way for him, how he could overcome his problem: having an irritating effect on others.

Maybe he is irritating others because he is not enough self confidence, therefore he behaves neurotically, so I would try to help him how to develop more selfconfidence."

 

With all my best wishes

Csillag

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Tashi Delek.

 

I would say yes, others are the triggers for our own created actions in the past.

 

Yes, but it is not that we "all of a sudden" meet a person, who triggers an anger in ourselves and that we are innocent regarding the trigger, and that the other person is responsible of being a trigger. Cause some people just find themselves over and over again in the same situations. If we think honestly, it is our will to find a specific situation. Could it be, that, we ourselves create also the triggers. The other´s words, actions are always used in one way or another. One can cross the river with the raft, the other prefers to adorn it and think about it and they never really cross the river. And here, a little of emptiness: My words can be a trigger for an anger within a certain person, a balsam within an another person and so on. They do not exist as a certain trigger and they would not exist as a trigger at all, if the other persons won`t perceive them as a trigger.

 

 

Best regards,

 

Simona

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