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farman

difficulties with Tibetan Buddhism

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Sometimes...I absolutely enjoy Tibetan Buddhism...and then there are days that i almost despise it. This morning was one of those mornings. I was surfing the web and visiting all the hangouts over coffee and tobacco...after having a strong visulization practice. To sit for 5 minutes is a big accomplishment for me...let alone...to be present as well! :lol:

 

So after practice, I'm off surfing the web for sites about Tibetan Buddhism...because after this morning....i felt more a part of it. Unfortunatly for me, i cruise over to e-sangha...for some messages , instruction, or conversation....in that order. I come across a sight about Malakala which was perfect because he is my one and only Dharma protector and I incorporate him in my visualization and refuge prayer. So I'm reading the site and everyone is talking Chinese to me. "Have you had the White Malakala empowerment?""Are you practicing the Janang 6 arm Malakala or the Dark Nyingma one?"...all this chinese about a Dharma Protector who is part of a brief visualization I do...with having formal permission I might add.... After visiting the site:

 

1.)I felt that I knew absolutely nothing

 

2.)What I did know was incorrect or insufficient

 

3.)That maybe I wasn't intellegent enough to make a mental contribution to my faith.

 

But after all this Chinese, what does it really have to do about becoming a better person...more compassionate and kind?This was what caught my heart from the very beginning!

 

Sometimes i feel that playing with my cat is the best dharma practice I engage in all day.I know for sure that its more meaningful than visiting dharma sites on-line sometimes.

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Yes, it can be frustrating, especially at the very beginning when you don't know much and your practice is not yet developed... But don't give up! Keep it up! No matter how poor your concentration is, what is important is that you do your practice EVERY DAY.

 

About the "Chinese", it helps if you read Dharma literature. Of course you can't master all of it immediately, but soon you know more expressions... Remember, Dharma is not meant to make you feel stupid (although in the process everybody feels stupid many times :) ), but to make you enlightened.

Some people like to show off their knowledge of terminology and yes, you're right, this has nothing to do with the implementation of dharma in everyday life. But that's their problem if they don't realise it.

 

You just keep up your practice! Lama Shenphen Rinpoche often says that it's not the words that matter, but what we do. :) :) :)

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Dechen,

This is not a direct response to you or against anyone in particular. I will just say that personally, I feel that I have read enough...that I have been a beginner long enough...I thought the goal was to become liberated so as to automatically help those in need in the way that they need it.

 

If so, then playing with my kitten is as much a preparation for the grand enlightenment as holding my breath and chanting some hindu sacred Sanskrit mantra. If all I get from visiting Tibetan Buddhist websites is the feeling and idea that I am ignorant, what is it that I'm ignorant about? The number of manifestations and colors of our Dharma Protectors? What color one should visualize their ankle bracelet? Is this the deep,dark, liberating secrets of our faith? If it is, I'm just going to stay in the basement and play with my cat.

 

Mark Roberts

606-878-6933

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Tashi Delek dear farman,

 

I would just remark that maybe you gave this topic a wrong name - to me it seems that the difficulty you have is with people, not with Tibetan Buddhism. :wink:

 

Namely, as people compete in many areas - who has the bigger and better car, job, salary - they may very well also compete in the area of who has the most and best initiations or profound knowledge of some secrets others don't know.

I too sometimes notice the strangest behaviour from people who claim to be Buddhist - like gossiping and slandering, for example. I was quite confused at first - but then I understood that by taking Refuge one just makes the first step on the Path which eventually will bring one somewhere.

 

But for this Path to bring us somewhere (e.g. to Enlightenment), we have to follow the guidance of Qualified Masters, not just anybody who has the time and keyboard to write messages on forums (like I am too doing right now. o:) )

 

So I think it is good to consider where a concrete piece of advice, information etc. comes from. I know that we should be careful because we never know who is a Bodhisattva - but I still think that this isn't a good basis to listen to just anybody, thinking that the words they speak may come from a (well disguised) Bodhisattva. :wink:

 

Best wishes. :)

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To Wango and Dechen and anyone who is reading this,

 

I was ready to fight yet again....over Bodhichitta. Negative emotions grabbed me and caried me and I went willingly so what can I say really, except that I wish I hadn't acted so badly. Being frustrated leads to anger so one needs to be careful. Thanks for trying to help me with your post.

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Apology accepted although not needed at all!!! :)

 

I think we all get such negative moments and luckily we have friends who put us back to the right track....

 

I wish you a wonderful day!

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Tashi Delek,

 

Farman, if you read over your first post, you will realize how much ego is tainting your words... The first 2 sentences are very revealing, you'll see :wink: So please, allow me to offer you this wisdom, even if you've already read it:

Give your Ego the Wisdom Eye

It can only be beneficial! :P

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