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mavrica

Transforming Anger Into Compassion

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Tashi Delek.

 

I have just heard that some of our relatives took their cat to the vet to be killed. Why? Because he got into a fight with some other cats and they hurt him so badly that his eye was "spilt" (I don't know the expression for it). I got really angry to hear their explanation: "You know, we feel sorry too, but he was in big pain and well - can you imagine how he would look like if he lived?" I mean, what if it happened to another member of their family, who just happened to be human? They would also let him be killed because he were in such pain?? Most probably not!

I am really sad that I was too late in this situation, I wanted to offer them to pay for the operation, because I think that was one of the reasons why they decided as they did. And I would also try to find the cat another home, because they would probably reject him then. I really liked this cat. And I don't understand them, because they also loved him! He was a part of their family! And now they killed him because that was cheaper and easier to eliminate him than bare with his lifelong impairment?

It is difficult for me to distance from emotions, I feel such anger now and am deeply sad for such behaviour. I don't understand, how could they abandon him?

How can I generate compassion toward them??

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You're suffering from attachment, Mavrica. Although I don't justify how its owners could put it to sleep because it lost an eye, the little animal had its karma working against (for?) it, and so it now goes on... Let go of your anger, only will you create more pain for yourself. You know what the Buddha said:"holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one that gets burnt."

 

Think also about the negative karmic seed those owners have planted in their "life-continuum" by putting this animal to sleep, and will have to experience if it remains unpurified, when the proper causes and conditions arise... Think also that they are probably sad as well to have lost this animal. Now you can generate compassion for them.

 

Also, best you can do for the little animal now is to follow those advices, and to keep on practicing buddhadharma with diligence.

 

Kind regards,

Frederic

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Good afternoon,

 

This is very sad, I am very sorry to hear this. Instead of helping the injured cat, they put it to sleep! :,(

I guess one of the things that we need to come to terms with (I am really struggling with this) is that people mostly treat people as animals, and animals as things. Due to this, great amount of negativity is accumulated, which will without doubt result in suffering in the future. People are ignorant of karma, and hold wrong views, so they do what their deluded minds force them to do. It is all very sad.

The Christ said the most wonderful thing: "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." Instead of getting angry, which is useless anyway, we can try to develop compassion for the being that is mistreated, as well as for the person that is inflicting harm. One is suffering at the moment, the other's evil karma will ripen on him or her in the future.

We can always think that all beings around us, and distant from us, acting at the moment good or bad, bringing peace and happiness, or havoc and wars, are in fact our kind mothers (former mothers), who are under the power of fundamental Ignorance and afflicting emotions.

 

Lama Tsongkhapa taught in His 'Three Principal Aspects of the Path':

"Swept away by the four torrential rivers,

Bound by the tight bonds of actions, so difficult to escape,

Caught in the iron net of self-grasping,

Totally enveloped by the thick darkness of ignorance,

Born and reborn in boundless existence,

Incessantly tormented by the three sufferingsà¢-â€Â

Reflecting upon this state of all beings, your mothers,

Generate the supreme mind of enlightenment."

 

I hope this is helpful somewhat.

K.

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Tashi Delek.

 

Thank you for your reply, Frederic.

 

Actually the situation is a bit more complex. Yes, partly it is my attachment to the cat, I did love him and enjoyed his company every day.

But there is also another side to my reaction. First let me say that I intentionally wrote the question to the forum at the moment when I was still very much emotional toward it, because I wanted to observe which way will this emotion take to dissolve in me. Therefore I am very thankful for your reply and thoughts, because they helped me organize my perceptions a little better.

 

So, another part is: when I first heard that the cat got hurt, I felt the need to offer my help to him and to the family who owned it, if that were necessary. My motivation was clear, positive and instantaneous. I felt that I am at the moment in a position where I can do something to help preserve the life of that animal and knew I have to react openly and quickly. Another members of my family told me that they had already decided for a "solution" in animal's death.

 

Then there was yesterday's teaching on Eight verses of thought transformation. It remained in my mind very clearly that we always have to offer help if that is possible and needed. In this situation I perceived both - that my help was possible and needed to save the animal's life.

So I called this aunt and asked her about the cat, but she said it is all over, they are driving home now and gave me the sentence above which caused such negative reaction in my mind.

 

Another point of view is, that I felt anger not only because of my personal loss (yes, as you've noticed, attachment - I felt this cat was also a part of my life and was "taken" away from it) but also because I felt helpless to do much in similar situations that happen daily. I know many people who drown baby animals because they don't want to keep them or abandon them when they get sick or visually changed. So I somehow lived through once more this feeling of helplessness to save those lives. Which resulted in anger.

 

There was also anger toward the vets. When I analyzed it I realized that it is actually because of two or three veterinarians I have met so far and with whom I had noticed a certain loss of compassion toward the animal (or a different interpretation of it) and their acceptance or sometimes even their recommendation to "alleviate the animal's suffering" by killing it with an injection. There was also a situation when the vet said the operation would be too expensive and it is better to take the animal's life, because it is only a small animal.

But I know, there are also many many people who do their best to save animals' lives on a daily basis.

 

Probably not last, there was also my feeling that I failed to reach my expectations about my ability to help (reasonably grounded or not). I felt impatience toward myself and the point where I still find myself. I wished I were spiritually already that far to finally be able to help all the sentient beings in the best way possible. In the next moment I realized I actually still have a very long way to go. So, another addition of anger, deriving from impatience.

 

So I ended up with a load of anger, mixed with personal suffering, suffering because of attachment, suffering because of suffering, and additional impatient and anger on the top. It went around in circles.

 

Then I meditated on it, after my head chilled down a little bit. And I took your thoughts on how to generate compassion for this family as a starting point. Then I came down to the described thoughts. And now I am calm. And with a clearer view I see this situation as an important lesson.

There is always also another being's karma, yes. Maybe that cat went on into a precious human life and will be able to meet dharma, who knows? I pray for that. I took a lesson for myself that the best way to help is to generate as much positive karma every moment as possible (as you said, practice diligently), which will help me on a long term to change my perception and continue on a spiritual path. And generate patience and compassion toward myself and all other sentient beings.

 

And thank you, Kyenrab. Yes, all the sentient beings were once our mothers. Including that family.

 

With love and respect,

ana

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Tashi Delek.

 

Well, just a small remark ... actually a question.

 

Did I go into too many personal details in describing this inner process? I have been weighing on it, whether to even reply in the way I did, because I heard it is improper to speak about one's own personal experiences in practice, but then I thought it could perhaps be of any help to someone (taking into consideration my blurred perspective on the real existence of anything in samsara, this might have been a very wrong thing to do, I don't know ...) and well ... this is what this forum is all about, or not?

 

Unfortunately I am still far from what I consider to be "a good practitioner". That is why I see how precious any help to me in this forum is, how many perspectives can open through other people's eyes. I cannot thank enough to everyone I can learn from.

 

But I often find myself in doubt, what all can I write on this forum and what is already a matter to be silent about (inner processes etc.).

 

Could anyone please give me any opinion on this?

 

Thank you.

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Personaly I think that if it makes you feel better to "let it all out", then by all means, let it all out. It is not here that someone will be reproachful, saying stuff like "why did you say all this, you shouldn't have said all this, this is bad", etc. :laugh:

 

Quite the contrary, the majority of the people participating to this forum is there to listen to you and help you relieve your suffering the best they can... :bow:

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Dear Chodzin,

i think the openness is courage.

it is maybe the way one puts his or her statements of sincerety: if they are just statements, this be their only motivation, apart from potentially helping others, i think they are very prescious. And the little parts in them especially, for they bring the true taste of the process, of the path, which broadens the view in others. me. that's why also the true stories of Buddhas, Boddhisattvas, practitioners are so inspiring to read or hear about! at least to me.

Your posts i read as full of faith and sincerety, so they touch the humility in me. Thank you. :bow:

all the very best,

pamo

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Hi,

 

I would just like to add that when one is open to others it also gives others an opportunity to learn. Learn honesty and learn much more about the topic being spoken. To have a facade of perfection looks nice, but can also look less approachable. So I liked the openness :)

 

Kind regards,

B.

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